"Michael Showalter, Our Close Friend" is the ninth episode of Hollywood Handbook.

Official Earwolf Page

Earwolf Synopsis Edit

Sean and Hayes help out Engineer Cody in another edition of Engineer My Career and reveal the truth on what really went on behind the scenes while filming The Godfather during Uncommon Commentary. Finally, MICHAEL SHOWALTER drops by to talk about joining the Earwolf family, recall how he had to kick Sean & Hayes out of The State, speak on the pressures of going in and out of the funny zone, share some of his favorite restaurants in town, and explain his decision to become Mr. Crystal Light.

Notes & Memorable Quotes Edit

Pre-Guest Segments Edit

  • "This is a podcast about Hollywood: The shiniest town in the whoole... seven seas"

Guest Segments Edit

  • Hayes is in many fans' Fantasy Podcasting League
  • Hollywood Handbook is an anchor podcast for Earwolf, a money maker
  • "But the toys are nice."
  • Sean and Hayes got kicked out of the State for cracking peoples' shit up too much. No one could get through a skit. In particular, Hayes's Jerkoff Robot sketch and his catchphrase "...Does. Not. Compute. Boner. Buffering. Buffering." (note the front pause)
  • Checking your phone is literally an addiction. Checking your phone in front of Sean is like inviting another person into the conversation. You should go to jail.
  • Michael does some of his famous restaurant reviews. Tex Mex place in WeHo, Colonel/Captain Williy/Billy's Wheel Bag. Some of the best darn barbecue you've ever had. Want to find the best barbecue? Ask where the best tex-mex is, where's the tex mex.
  • "When's the last time you played for a meal in this town?" More than you think: Michael goes in cognito a lot as Steph Bronson. Goatee, no mustache, dark glasses, wool / ski hat.
  • Michael still candy flips at raves
  • Sean "If they (Crystal Light) want 'earnest', why don't they get Jim Varney?"
  • Michael is working on an independent movie Mr. Meat Hands. The lead (Elijah Wood) wore turkey over his hands.
  • Joseph Godon Levitt said that Denzel said, regarding sex scenes "I apologize if I do (get an erection), I apologize if I don't."

Recurring Segments Edit

  • Engineer My Career - Cody Skully - a short mini-seg. Barely has time to discuss his ambition. Didn't have a question prepared or understand even the most basic parts of speech
  • Uncommon Commentary - discussion of The Godfather
    • Marlon Brando wanted to be skinny and young southern hick with a high voice
    • Brando wanted to wear Groucho glasses throughout the whole film, the kind with a wind up so the eyebrows go up and down. He need funny disguise. Any over the shoulder shot you can see the shadow of a big novelty nose and eyebrow, and hear the tick-tick-tick of the mechanism unwinding
    • The title made it seem like he is God's father, but Francis Ford was underwater on a huge t-shirt order
    • Instead of daughter's wedding day, Brando wanted it to be his daughter's quinceañera. Obama has made it so marriage doesn't really mean anything anymore
    • Brando came to set with his sombrero and Mexican jumping beans, because he thinks being Italian and Mexican is the same thing
    • Brando was scared of the person opposite him in the wedding favor, had to give the audio of the lines from beneath the desk with his teeth chattering. Brando had to do his lines while in another room with their mom was brought in instead. 
    • Sean and Hayes come up with the show Alf based on Marlon Brando eating household pets and crocodiles in The Godfather
  • Popcorn Gallery
    1. burdrulz - "How do you get into the funny zone?"
      • I'm a guy who just likes to just get quiet. Zone out all the noise and lights, and breath and boom.
  • Pro Version - only briefly mentioned during an abbreviated plugs section

Recurring Jokes Edit

  • Talking to the Engineer - Engineer My Career with Cody
  • Politics - Obama has diminished the significance of marriage
  • Crack My Shit Up - Michael Showalter kicked Sean and Hayes out of the State for cracking peoples shit up too hard.
  • Speak on That - Michael is asked to speak on his new podcast "Cat Matters." Sean got fed up with fame and Michael reminded him (in regards to Michael's brand new Ford F-150) that "the toys are nice." Lots more.
  • Funny Zone - both getting into and getting out of the Funny Zone is discussed.
  • Comic Books - Going in and out of the Funny Zone is like Wolverine's claws, it hurts but helps others.
  • Scoop Troop - Michael has decided to become Mr. Crystal Light.
  • Blenjamin - Blen's girlfriend works inside of Crystal Light marketing department
  • Sean and Hayes's Particular Attribute - If you're built like Hayes, Sean, and Michael, being aroused during a sex scene can be a little uncomfortable

Ads Edit

  • Earwolf store (repeat)

Episode Photos Edit

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