"Shelby Fero, Our Close Friend" is the fifteenth episode of Hollywood Handbook.
Earwolf Synopsis Edit
Sean and Hayes play a scary game of Gmail Roulette, and educate their listeners with a Guide to Hosting SNL. Then Twitter celebrity and TV writer SHELBY FERO pops by to debate whether she should give back Sean’s Twitter followers and trade observations with Sean and Hayes on being extremely young in show business. Finally, everyone makes some prank phone calls to some of Hollywood’s hottest young stars.
Notes & Memorable Quotes Edit
Pre-Guest Segment Edit
- Sean: "Seein' Engineer Cody's fuckin' head melt when I fuckin' drop this mind-bending knowledge on everyone? You don't think that's scary to me? It's like dude just opened the arc from the .. movie with arc." Hayes: "Yeah, Evan Almighty." "Yes!"
- *Gmail Roulette noises* Hayes: "Oooh this is actually a good one. I'm very happy I landed on this one because it's been something that I've been wanting to speak on for some time now, so sometimes you just get lucky!" Sean:"Oh rotten luck for me!"
- Black people singing against consumerism, and now white people also singing about it, which may cause black people to go back to singing about diamonds.
- Sean and Hayes HATE self-indulgence. Don't drive around with your name on the license plate, do a nickname instead. For instance Hayes' says Mr. Movie and Sean's says Dr. #1 Movie
Guest Segment Edit
- Twitter followers
- When Shelby Fero met Hayes and Sean she was a sick teen, but she was also a SICK teen. Hayes and Sean met her through the make a wish foundation, where Shelby Fero's wish was for 100,000 twitter followers.
- It was not spoken, however implied that after she got her prize, she would have passed on and Sean would have gotten his followers back.
- At the time Sean was only having close friends and family following him, so he had about 100,000
- Batkid is still looking pretty healthy, and he got to save a whole city
- Sean asks for his followers back even though it's difficult for him to do. Shelby implies that her followers don't want to follow a failure, which Sean doesn't understand. Sean only understands a few words. Such as: 'Give' 'Me' 'Back' 'My' 'Twitter' and 'Flowers'
- Shelby won't give Sean back his followers, and calls her whole career a fucking joke. Shelby then relates the scenario to Frankenstein's monster trying to scare Hayes and Sean out of the room to win the argument.
- Youth culture
- Hayes, Sean, and Shelby talk about youth culture, and share some of their favorite electronic dance music, all the spark noises, beeps and boops. DJ's such as the Cyborg Twins, the 'Let Me Clear My Throat' guy.
- New cartoons like Adventure Time, Hayes and Sean talked about how everyone on West Hollywood would be wearing those clothes soon, Shelby goes on to say that the she doesn't go on the west side too much, it's kinda gauche now. Hayes and Sean agreed they don't go there anymore, too many ghosts.
- Shelby guesses Hayes and Sean's age between 48-52 respectfully and Hayes agrees it's gotta be one of those. It's always been that way where those 48 and 50 year olds are defining culture. These old guys sometimes don't even know about computers and the different kinds.
- Shelby asks why Hayes' computer was upside down, to which Hayes tells her when you skateboard as much as he does, it's easier to use that way. Shelby mentions that Skateboarding was before her time, it's more about electric scooters and stuff, and Hayes and Sean reveal that it was all just a prank, of course they don't skateboard they threw theirs away a long time ago. Had to make room in the house for all their razor scooters.
- Hayes mentions it's so cool to have parents who die recently rather than 20-30 years ago. Then they all talk about their great grandma's
- In the Springtime, Hayes takes all of his tops and crops em out. Sean gets a bunch of cornstalks and weaves them together into a top. "It's Harvest time baby!" "It's the Spring Harvest and let's, let's do it." Sean's cornstalk shirt attracted a lot of crows into the studio
- Hayes still uses a Nokia which he calls a Yeskia because yes it's his favorite phone
- Prank Calls
- They decide to call someone really New and up and coming, like Patricia Heaton. Sean pretends to be Raymond there with Brad, the lady who answers asks if he's trying to call Wetzels Pretzels, and says that they called a business. Sean mentions she is kinda a business and hangs up.
- They decide to call Rashida Jones pretending to be her boyfriend, and Rashida tries to play the piano and music and act like she's a staples. They mention that the music was a bit too fast for their taste, they like something they can dance to.
- Shelby Fero says she's uncomfortable doing these prank calls, and Sean says not to worry because they're all young and invincible
- They decide to call Drake who Hayes mentions is one of his favorite painters. Shelby talks to a lady who worked at Guitar Center, Shelby doesn't think that he works there anymore. Sean says what probably happened is that there was someone at Drakes house pretending to be at Guitar Center, doing a double prank.
- Shelby Fero asks how Hayes's blown knees and Sean's arthritis are, they mention it's both fine
- Shelby asks how to go from young and hip to being more mature and whatnot, to which Sean talls her they're out of time he has to be back home to his mommy for his beddy by time.
- Like us on Myspace, leave us a review on the editorial page in your newspaper.
- Shelby plugs her presence on a new social media site, that they all say together, that way Hayes and Sean prove that they know what it is. The network is called 1, 2, 3.
- Shelby Fero mentions Hayes' computer is actually a gingerbread house.
Recurring Segments Edit
- Gmail Pick - was not played this episode
- Gmail Roulette -
- Sean - Kevin Pollak sends his thousandth email (in retrospect it was likely this would end up on Gmail Roulette) begging Sean for forgiveness, furiously apologizing and begging for Sean to quit ignoring him at parties, his emails, his phone calls, etc. He asks Sean to please do his chat show so that he can reach that tier 1 status like Hollywood Handbook.
- Hayes - "Ug!" Macklemore sends Hayes an email about how steamed he was to hear what he just heard on his Sirius XM. He heard Royals by Lorde, and was angry that it was too similar to his song Thrift Shop. It's being just as #1 as his was. Both songs are telling people not to sing about what black people are signing about because it's not cool anymore because white people like it now.
- Guide to Hosting SNL -
- You want to meet the writers the first day you're there. Get there at 10am when they're really tired, and make a lot of noise and startle them. Then bring in your own writers who know you and know your voice. You want to bring in people who bring a certain level of funniness, such as your funny teacher from the 8th grade who did the funny geography jokes, or your 9th grade teacher who had all the great math puns, your funny barber from your childhood who had a fake plastic ear. Or even your funny 10th grade teacher who had all sorts of jokes about bad spelling.
- YOU are the star, so you need to make sure it's always you doing the funny voice and you getting that laugh. And then you have the normal guys. Some people may try to do characters on the show, but when you're doing your hosting and being yourself they need to keep out.
- (Plays clip) - How to introduce the musical act. Adrian Brody was doing a funny Jamaican accent with a Jamaican wig because the musical guest Sean Paul is from Jamaica. You should always try to talk and look like the musical guest you're introducing. Sean and Hayes did have criticism that it could have been longer, they may try to force you off the stage by playing air horns or the song, but don't give in, and don't stop talking. Also Adrain Brody should have used some dark makeup to closer interpret the Jamaican culture. It would have been more respectful if he walked a mile in their skin makeup
Recurring Jokes Edit
- Macklemore - Macklemore gets his email picked by Hayes during Gmail Roulette
- One Eighth Native American - Sean can comment on Macklemore / black people rap, being outside of it racially. Sean has a dreamcatcher hanging from the rearview of his car, it's not just some kind of freaky net
- Too Scary - Shelby Fero tries to scare Hayes and Sean by talking about Frankinstein
- Earwolf Store (Repeat) ("The new layout is mad intuitive")